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L.A. Beat

Ask Margo — Sometimes you never can tell if a woman likes you

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Q-How does a woman let you know that she likes you? I hear all these things about the signs they give when they’re interested. What are they? Can they be more clear? I’m absolutely clueless, a woman basically has to beat me over the head and drag me off to her place before I know she’s interested. But they shouldn’t have to do that, should they? Hope you can help. Thanks.from

A- Sorry to say but outside of asking a woman out and gauging her reaction, I don’t think there is any reliable way to tell if a woman is interested. Even then you may not know and even after you go out with her, you still may not be able to tell.

She may not even know how she feels about you and to make things even more confusing, she may tease you to see how that feels and she may continue to do this until she figures out whether she digs you or not.

But if you google ‘how do you tell if a woman likes you’ you will get a tonne of results. Some will say that a woman’s interest will be obvious if you read her body language properly.

For instance, a woman who is interested in you may fiddle with her hair to accentuate her femininity. Or she may sway her hips in an exaggerated manner to draw attention to her body. But how the hell do you know if she is doing this to get your attention, or someone else’s? How do you know she is not thinking about some other dude, is trying to make someone jealous, feels sexy, or that she is doing it just because she darn-well feels like it? You don’t know.

This is why the question is so popular and this is why it keeps being asked over and over, even after hundreds of answers and supposed signals or clues have been posted online.

Some frustrated men keep searching for that magic answer that will tell them how to deal with the ladies. You can check out these online lists, but they sure don’t seem like magic to me.

I perused a few of them, and some say that if a woman blushes it is an indicator she is ‘crushing’ on you. Well duh. The problem with these lists is now we have -who knows how many- guys out there looking and waiting for a girl to blush, when really, the very same woman who blushes for one guy might be straight-up-drag-you-to-bed un-shy with another. Unless you are in grade school, such lists might as well be thrown out the window because these supposed telling signs totally depend on each woman and the situation she’s in.

I think that if a woman makes unnecessary physical contact with you a lot that that can be a good sign. She may brush your arm, or pat you on the back. She may, while talking to you, punctuate her speech with a quick touch. But who knows, she may (just like the girls who flirt with no real intentions of doing anything about it) only be demonstrating how comfortable she is with you.
Frustrating hey? I think so too. There is something you can do about it (besides just scratching your head). Some women may not like you now, but they can develop a romantic interest in you just because you showed interest in them first. People tend to be interested in people who like them. A woman might begin to like you purely because you made it clear that you are into her. Then, once she gets to you know you enough, she’ll like you for your actual qualities. Now that I’ve said all that, it sure doesn’t hurt to keep your eyes open, and your chin up.  

— By Margo, Special To L.A. Beat
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