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L.A. Beat

Ask Margo: His behaviour is more telling than words

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Q- I have been seeing the same guy on and off for the past year or so. We started out as friends, but when I went away for a few months last summer from clipart.comwe began chatting all the time and completely hit it off.

Since then he has gone away for work for a few weeks at a time. The first time he went away things cooled a little and didn’t heat up again until he had been back in town for a while. We seem to be getting closer and closer with time, only we don’t call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we are pretty much together.

But most of the time I feel like I am the one calling him and asking him to do things and I wonder how much he really cares. Anyway, recently we decided to go on a vacation together and things went really well, he told me he loved me for the first time and I felt really connected to him. We have been back for over a month and it’s like nothing happened on our vacation.

He hasn’t said I love you to me since, except for once when we were saying bye on the phone, and he is back to not calling me and only hanging out with me when I ask if he is available.

It really hurts me to think that I have to be the one to keep things going and that he may not be that interested in taking things to the next level.

Do I forget my feelings for him and just keep it as a “friends with benefits” thing?

A- If you are going to forget your feelings for him, “friends with benefits” is not the way to go. Come on now, you must know that if you are in this deep, you will have to break it off with him completely in order to forget, and even that will take some time. 

Also, friends with benefits don’t go on vacation together and throw the l-word around! Don’t sell your relationship, and yourself, short. You may be attempting to avoid putting labels on your relationship, but giving it a false label is not the way to get around it.

I think it would also help if you stop with the ‘I-will-take-what-I-can-get-from-him’ attitude. If you want to know if he is really that into you, stop calling the guy and see what happens. He might not appear to know what he wants, but he won’t be in a rush to figure it out if you chase him all the time. Give him a few weeks, and if he starts chasing you, you’ll know the answer to your question.

Q- My girlfriend keeps telling me what to do all the time, and I don't mind so much cause I'm a scatter brain, but does this mean that I'm losing my edge in the relationship?

A- Yes, yes it does. Tell her to lay-off for a week. That means no nagging or getting on your case for a full week, at all costs. If she complies it will be your chance to un-scatter yourself and prove to her she has no more reason to boss you, than you do her.  
Ask Margo for advice. Email questions to: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

— By Margo, Special To L.A. Beat

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