Ask Margo— Pretending to be cool is an oxymoron


Q: I am really into this guy who is hot and cold with me. He doesn’t always acknowledge me when I see him and then sometimes we have long meaningful conversations. We are not together but I am hoping to get to know him better. What would be the best approach or maybe I should give up?

A: A direct approach is always best, unless you are trying to ‘play it cool’? The problem with playing it cool is that it involves pretending. If you want to do a convincing job of this then you should probably just say hi when you see him.

from clipart.comFrom what I’ve noticed that is what people tend to do when they are kinda into someone: they say hi like it ain’t no biggie. When you think he is being “cold” he could just be doing the same thing you are doing.

The aforementioned expression has the word “play” in it for a reason. Dating can sometimes be a bit of a game. If you don’t want it to be this way then cut the BS and ask him to hang with you sometime.

If you can’t bring yourself to do it, then you could just embrace the game player in you, and if you are going that route: attention seeking when he is around (loud boisterous talking and joke cracking) and continuing to make it seem like you don’t notice him or don’t care might just do the trick … or it could potentially make him think you are a loser. Good luck.  

Q: I really pissed off my girlfriend and now she is punishing me. Any tips on how to get her to forgive me?

A: Talk to her, if you are sorry for whatever it is that you did be sorry and show it. Being mad is costly, and takes effort, so she won’t want to stay that way unless it is somehow worth it. Hope it isn’t for your sake.
And hey next time (I’m going to quote a friend of a friend who, like a certain former US president, mixes up words) please be ‘more pacific’ so that I can, you know, give ya more advice. Thanks for writing in though.

All lovers, and would be lovers: Do you have a relationship/dating/sex question?  Ask Margo for advice. Email questions to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Confidentiality, an open mind, and a sense of humour totally assured.
Are you too shy, or embarrassed? Use a fake email account, or tell me the question is for a "friend".

— By Margo, Special to L.A. Beat
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