Ask Margo — Boundaries are a good thing (especially if someone has bad breath)


Q- What is a polite way to tell your gf that she has really bad breath? Sometimes it can be hard to kiss her or even talk close to her. What do I do?

A- I’m going to guess (and hope) that her problem isn’t from lack of brushing. She could have an infected tooth, bad diet, rank tongue, could be a side effect from meds, too much dope smokin’… the list goes on, either way you have to tell her. Without any further delay. She might feel stupid for a little bit but how stupid are you going to feel when she looks you in the eyes and says: “Oh no! “How long has this been a problem?” Then you have to pretend that she hasn’t been grossing you out all this time. The joke’s kinda on you, buddy. A polite way? “Honey, please don’t feel embarrassed but I’ve noticed that sometimes your breath is quite bad.” Say it pronto. No more thinking about it or you’ll probably chicken out.

Q- My girlfriend has a shopping problem. We live together and she makes more than me but then spends the extra money on herself or things for the house that I don’t care about or ever use. I tell her all the time that she is wasting her money but she just shrugs at me like she doesn’t care what I think about it at all. It would be nice if she could just relax on the weekend and do something that doesn’t cost anything instead of spending her money as soon as it comes in. How do I convince her that she is wasting her money?

A- Does your girlfriend have a shopping problem, or do you have a problem with your girlfriend spending her money on herself instead on you? It’s just a good thing to ask yourself.
If it’s not about the money then you should offer to show her a good time without spending anything. Convince her. Do a good job of this and you might win your case.

Also, I’m just as against useless spending. But I know that I can’t control what other people do with their money. Neither can you. If it really bothers you or you really think she has a problem and talking to her hasn’t worked, and convincing her of free good times doesn’t work, then try a different approach.

Offer to match a smaller percentage of everything she saves or keep track of her spending to show her how it all adds up. Later you can be like “see look at all this money you spent, you could have saved “x” amount of dollars… and bought something even more expensive.” See it doesn’t really work if she doesn’t want it to, especially if she hasn’t actually complained about having a problem. Decide if it’s something you are willing to live with

Q- How do I know if I’ve crossed the line when cuddling with my dog? Cause my dog seems to kinda like it when I rub its nipples.

A- I don’t wanna point any fingers,  but I think one of my friends mighta sent this one in. I don’t know what to say except that as long as you are not abusing your dog, what happens between you is your business. Friendly nipple rubs are your call. Though I have to warn you if you do think you’ve “crossed the line” you’ll likely experience a negative psychological backlash. Shame, confusion, and guilt, my friend.

Best to stick to just a pat on the head.
Ask Margo for advice. Email questions to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

— By Margo, Special to L.A. Beat
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