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L.A. Beat

For My Admirer: Inconsequential Matters of Special Importance — A Belated Valentine's Day Extravaganza

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Now that Valentine's Day is over and done with, let's review: A doctor in a maternity ward clinic in Calgary said on the day of the fourteenth that it had been the busiest day she could literally ever recall. Someone else mentioned it wasn't too surprising, being it was Valentine's Day.

There was a lot of energy flying about on this type of day, what with forty percent of people being in love and another forty percent being bitter and depressed, between the 20 per cent of people who were oblivious or neutral. The doctor had completely forgotten about the holiday, saying this did make sense to her.

She would be happy enough to simply get home and crash into bed with her husband. A full moon tends to have similar effects, like the one we witnessed last Friday.
So, in light of this review, how was your Valentine's Day? Which category did you fall into this year? The loving, the loathing or the neutral? A combination of the first two, the last two... All three?

Or perhaps you fell into the fourth column, not yet mentioned, of those who are in some kind of denial. If you were in the invisible denial category, you may not know or be willing to admit it. For those of you unable to see past the ends of your own noses (which is most of us,) fortunately, your local underdog astrologer is here to keep you in check! Weather in a long term relationship, just beginning something or single, let's take a good look at either why you might be single, why you annoy the hell out of your partner or why your partner annoys you most.

Some may ask what the purpose of this would be. Perhaps it will give us the foresight and/or insight to prevent such annoyances for our spouses and ourselves, concerning our relationships. Enjoy.

WARNING: These horoscopes are not for the weak of heart!

DISCLAIMER: A general Sun sign horoscope can only shed so much light, due to its interdependence with the other planets. Check our your ascendant or rising sign and/or moon sign, if you're aware of what they are. Those born at night, pay special attention to their Moon signs.

Aries - Ram Your Head Against the Wall

March 21 - 23  to April 20 - 23

The biggest issue we see when it comes to Aries and love is their inherent selfishness. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, representing the infantile stages of life.

Right there, we could draw a metaphysics line between infants and Aries people; Like babies, they can be unusually concerned with themselves. An infant isn't even capable of defending itself, feeding itself or keeping itself warm and yet they are equally incapable of consciously thanking the being that provides these things.

Only a little later in life, the tender smile or laugh of a baby will be thanks enough but for a while, this is a good part of what makes parenthood in the first few months so challenging.

But we're not here to talk about parenthood, we're here to talk about Aries people.

They don't cry like babies, we can leave that up to Cancer, Lunar types, no, they represent the thankless part of the infant stages, where they have not yet developed the cognition to think outside of oneself and ones innate urges and instincts. Truly Aries influenced beings, you lack consideration or a very deep ability to empathize with others.

Even when you think you're empathizing, it's still just an attempt to feel what another does, from your point of view, not a surrender and true understanding. It would do you well to practice putting yourself second and others first, including your priorities, your worries, your issues or your lack of these things. And don't think that because you attempt this, you've become a saint, for that can be exactly the problem. You're still just thinking of you.

Taurus - Stubborn As A Bull

April 21-23 to May 20- 23

Taurus is not your usual pretty ugly bully personality, being ruled by Venus though they can be rather diva-like by nature - Think Miss Piggy. We can leave the playground pushiness to the influence of other signs, for shoving others around even verbally simply isn't a typical cow's style.

Unless of course, you wave the red cape at them.

Then, almost anything can happen but they will be quick to cool back down and smooth the cow lick from their hair. Taurus is famed for its stubbornness and if you're a Taurus Sun sign, you already know that. It's true that they are patient creatures, for stubbornness takes on many forms; However, though patience is known to be a virtue, at times, it's an excuse not to deal with something such as issues of vulnerability. Have you ever approached a cow in the fields?

They seem fairly docile but they don't really want your attention, for they are lost in their grazing and you, like the birds, are inconsequential to such a big ol' heifer. We all know upsetting a cow is a bad idea, as they do have tempers and sheer size makes them scary but mostly, they are fairly approachable, unless with young — then they are simply irritable and quite dangerous. Mostly, they hardly seem to notice you but with a blank look in long-lashed eyes between chews. This isn't about a temper, or lack thereof, so much as just another method of being stubborn.

I've even got to explain this very carefully, almost slowly despite it only being text, taking caution and fearing they have already stopped reading. The trick with Taurus people is knowing that under the surface, they think they are never, ever wrong. How can one be in the wrong when they are so obviously, most usually calm on the exterior? And if tempers do rise, are able to subdue them so quickly after? Surely, it is those who come undone who are full of cow crap! Infuriating, isn't it? It almost makes you want to provoke them. And so, let's have burgers for supper.

Gemini - The Shallowest Know-It-All

May 21-23 to June 20-23

Gemini is a sign of electric thinking and a natural love of logic - whatever that is. The sign in itself, does not by nature correlate with the emotions which isn't to say heavily Gemini influenced individuals have no emotions, though they may seem not to sometimes, it's to say that they don't recognize their emotions very well. Admittedly or not, they have a hard time dealing with feelings or even comprehending them in themselves and others.

It makes their whole sense of logic turn a little on its head. You've probably heard of the I.Q. or intelligence quotient? Well, there's also the lesser known E.Q. or emotional quotient. You can have the highest I.Q. in the world but if you have a low E.Q. you won't be able to do much good in the world and with other human beings, if let's say, you aren't emotionally in touch enough to have a conversation, let alone give a speech or maintain a job.

Also with Gemini, you could have a solid little budding career, a modicum of talent and all the opinion in the world to get you by but it doesn't make you much different from the majority of other human beings. Gemini tends to have a big, big head, in thinking they know more than the average Joe or Jane, with all that incessant thinking they do. They can lack in sincerity themselves but be the first to call someone else on it, thinking they've got it licked at the very recognition that both parties are guilty. If they have become aware of such lacking sincerity, surely, the problem is underfoot.

Change doesn't always happen overnight but in their minds, it really is that simple. Speaking of simplicity, it's honestly amazing that one with so little to say could talk so much and with so much egotism and in such a condescending way. Words are their ammunition but firing them off could end up causing a war or at the very least, hurting an innocent bystander or even someone they think they love. In romance, their need to constantly be right and indignantly so will earn them only more coldness in return, though they will poorly attempt to hide the feeling of indignance.

If there is one thing we can learn from Geminiian shortcomings, it's that you can't think your way into love or loving kindness, it is something you have to feel, no matter how much that hurts when your mind comes back around to rationalize it again. As for the mention of Gemini being two-faced, it's more like 10 faced and frankly, unless you're a good actor, I usually see one of them showing itself louder and clearer than the rest, even if you are somehow miraculously able to bite your tongue.

Cancer - Cry Me A River

June 21-23 to July 20-23
Cancer is symbolized by one of the most ancient creatures of the world, the crab. This being one of the very first organisms to ever spring up, Cancer's tend to have long, long memories. The problem is that they aren't always accurate. A Cancer person will invent things that happened according to their own feelings. Instead of expanding on that, I'll just leave it up to you, Cancer, to read and invent a different story according to how it made you feel.

Not according to what I've said or how anyone else saw it go down. Or maybe it's one of those times where you're willing to see things as they actually were but you find yourself so hurt by what's been said, the emotions take hold and if the water works don't start now, I am still waiting. Oh, does that make you angry?

I was waiting for that, too. Cancer is ruled by the moon or Luna and like the mythological ware wolf, prone to ever-changing emotional landscapes and flights of lunacy. So, what's it going to be? Ignore the issue and create your own version of the story or recognize it, whine, get angry, have a tantrum, throw a fit or pretend it didn't hurt you when you damn well know you're just waiting to sulk? The crab is also associated with general crabbiness, of course and so many Cancerians I know simply love, love, love to bitch.

That shouldn't be a problem though, as it's been said that complaining is the most common form of communication so thankfully, most people can relate. Contrarily, Cancer, you can be loving, very loyal, making others feel secure and right at home with your ability to listen to their complaints but you can get tiring and over-emotional so much that for many, the day-to-day with you becomes quite exhausting. Contrarily, I know a few Cancers, especially the women, who are hilarious when they're spouting off about something, but that loses its charm very quickly; All the time is too much.

Leo - It's All About You

July 21- 23 to August 20-23

Leo... You wanna know why you piss me off? I love you, you know I do... your ego can save you from a million deadly diseases, somehow. I don't know but I'm sure it could, you're a ray of sunshine for most you encounter and you love to lay in whatever your idea of the lap of luxury is. But you have a tendency to think only about yourself, much like Aries.

With you, it's different though. You simply can't be honest, as telling half truths and neglecting certain facts preserves your reputation exactly as it was, before conflict came along. A lie is still a lie, even if it's not a direct statement that is untrue for dishonesty is dishonest. Liar, liar, pants (and apartment block) on fire... But hey, everyone is looking at you and you should like that very much.

Then, when you recover, licking your wounds, after stupidly setting the neighborhood up in smoke, everyone will think you're so amazing for extinguishing the flames and bravely moving on through the jungle that you almost managed to and yet saved from, burning down. But no one knows it was you who began it.

Isn't it commendable? You brave soul. You're one of the less annoying signs, in that you tend to display a great sense of humour and both God and/or the abyssal nothingness will give you points for that but it all depends on who you're talking to, for the person who has to spend a lifetime with you may not feel the same.

To them, you might not be so funny and to most who get to know you, that is, those who don't cower beneath you, they're quickly able to see that you're just a cat. Throw a little water (a.k.a. emotion) at you and you'll run, very, very fast. Don't take away Leo's toys either or he'll get fussy and roary. The Leo would rather die than make a major change in his life, away from his comfortable spot to sleep and move away from where his food bowl sits. This can be a wonderful trait of stability for a mate, or it can reinforce yet another lie. But kings, as in, of the jungle, don't have to tell truths, do they? They can hide up in the ivory towers of their imaginations and shut the world out just as easily. Very, very funny, Leo.

Virgo - Analyze This

Aug. 21-24 to Sept. 21-23

Virgo, I'll put it as a Virgoan friend with some awareness of astrology put it earlier this afternoon— “ You're picky. You will knit pick, into the ground, any issue possible, attempting to dismantle it in the hopes that it will smash apart before your eyes and then you can laugh at it for not being solid enough to keep itself together.”

 The way to deal with our issues sometimes has to do with letting go, not disseminating and spreading them thin through over-analysis. The way you constantly tear things up and place them under a verbal microscope can be beyond frustrating, at the best of times. Sure, your criticism and judgment are appreciated but ... no, wait, they're not.

So, stop. Virgo's can also tend to be annoyingly shy which can work to their advantage with the former qualities mentioned, except if when they do talk, it's only to critique something. Then, it seems that the shy guy or girl face having an image of reservation and possible innocence can be wasted when the bubble is burst and you begin speaking so pessimistically. Someone might prefer if you had have just kept your mouth shut.

Libra - The Truth Hurts

Sept. 21- 23 to Oct. 21- 23

Librans are amongst my favorite of the zodiac signs, as they weave their wonderful truths through all of humanity just by being the souls of such positive nature that they so often simply are. There, we started off happy, light-hearted and fluffily but unfortunately, life cannot always be as innocent in its nature as you'd like to think you are.

Behind the facade of balance and equilibrium you present to the world, despite having some of the least bad traits of the zodiac, you are not very brave and completely horrible at making your mind up about almost anything. Sometimes Librans just can't handle the very simple truth that when certain things come their way, they are more prone to hiding than to facing up to the facts.

You would rather sit with your scales, carefully judging all that is going on around from a proximity of safety, in a broom closet than voice your opinion or become involved. But I know you're thinking all sorts of dirty thoughts, you're just not voicing them.

Now, this can work to your advantage, as all too often, people get involved with things they shouldn't but fails to be the case when the issue at hand is yours directly to deal with. You don't necessarily run out the door, as an Aquarius would rather do but you get muddled, certainly and this is when the indecisive parts of your personality show up on your sleeve. Many people project one thing entirely and behind closed doors express another but Librans know what I meant by this, all too well.

They won't express the negative often, unless there's other things in their chart allowing them to but they will think it or at least, they will think of something contrary to what they're usually saying they think. The term wishy-washy comes to mind as well, when they may feel so radically different some of the time in comparison with others that you want to roll your eyes or push them down a flight of stairs. So, two things Libra: Suck it up and get real in making a decision. In order to do that, realize the truth is the truth and sometimes the truth hurts.

Scorpio - Insecurity Stings

Oct. 21- 23 to Nov. 21-23

Oh, God... Scorpio. Don't even get me started.

Perhaps because this is my own Sun sign and one that many are greatly influenced by, in part due to the vampire-like nature of Scorpio to suck out all of the happiness from others around them and in part due to the affiliation they have with power and power struggles. Scorpio is a powerful sign and when this power is not used for good, which isn't necessarily intentional it can be so intense that others are, admittedly or not, almost completely overwhelmed.

If someone has ever made you feel this way, often, you can bet that they may have Scorpio somewhere major in their chart. We're not just talking about the way your mom might get to you when she does those things moms do (unless your Mom is influenced by Scorpio,) we're talking about a personality that can be so domineering, challenging and seemingly inscrutable that you just want to leave them in their little dark corner to crawl around alone, instead of feeling like you might be poking a dangerous creature with a stick just to say hello. And they're probably better to be left alone, most of the time.

Scorpio will inject you with their venom in order to see how you handle what it's like to have that poison coursing through your veins, in hopes that you will either help them find a way to cope or for affirmation that you get just as crazy as they do, considering the cerebral mindedness they live with daily.

This is known to be a sign of mystery and it hurts them to have others know their secrets, hence why many Scorpios, despite having reputations of being calm or supremely cool do not let others very close.

Even those close to a Scorpio probably know, they aren't nearly as collected under the surface as you initially would have guessed. By that I mean they're a shipwreck. Their deepest secret, I'm about to give away is they're insecure as all get go. Honestly, watch the skin crawl when you poke fun at their confidence. It's really not nice to prod the already wounded but they react so obviously, it can be tough not to unless of course, they scare you too much to try.

Sagittarius - You Can Lead A Centaur To Water...

Nov. 20-23 to Dec. 20 -23
Sagittarius, for you there will not be a verbose rant stretching on for a stupidly long paragraph, just a regularly long one. Before you go charging off to do something else as full force as you clicked on this link, I promise you, this will be more brief than the others, as I know your attention will waver.

You like to get things done fast and furiously, full speed ahead and though this can be your biggest virtue, it can also be your biggest vice. Capische? The down side of the centaur, despite his precise accuracy with a bow is that, it's not good shooting arrows at birds when you've already got chicken dinner on the table. It isn't that Sagittarians are so spontaneous they can be convinced to do anything at the drop of a hat, no, it's that they will do exactly whatever it is they've put their mind to and think of nothing else — not you, or anyone, outside of themselves.

As we see with the other fire signs, there is a tendency towards a lack of consideration for others but with Sagittarius, it is even less intentional than with Aries or Leo. It's not a bad thing to take care of yourself, after all, you can't help others if you don't help yourself first but sometime you're so wrapped up in whatever it is you're doing, you can't see that you could at all possibly be being neglectful of the wants or needs of those around you.

Capricorn - Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

Dec. 20-23 to Jan. 18-21

Capricorns have difficulty maintaining a relationship mostly due to their mind-numbingly serious nature and the demons they have hidden in their closets.

I've known many a Cappy to have a good sense of humour but like the Grinch, the heart can be two sizes too small.

If they're not correcting you, be it gently or blatantly, they're most likely rolling their eyes and oh, so patiently holding it in. They may think they are better than others and unlike a Gemini, won't necessarily voice the opinion, so much as let sleeping dogs lie. But in doing so, they can never really regard a partner as an equal, once the relationship begins to show its true colours.

Your sign is ruled by the tarot trump the Devil and hence there can be many, many personal devils of your own that are unwillingly unleashed upon partners and potential partners or even yourself, preventing you from having any partners. Why the long face? Honestly, just get your head out of your ass and stop moping around, talking about all the things you did do or will do or are better than others at doing and try to enjoy those around you while they're still here. Your devils may play games but they aren't always very fun.

Aquarius - Avoidance At All Costs

Jan. 18-21 to Feb. 18- 21

Anyone who's Sun sign is ruled by the planet Uranus is sure to be a pain in the ass, to some degree. Exactly how you bust your chops and the chops of others? Well, in a few different ways.

Aquarius is a strange sign being very, very social and at the same time, having a tendency to be a little shy which isn't the biggest of its faults. What's stranger still is the insurmountable ego Aquarians can adopt through their years.

They're not exactly prideful but easily irritated when it comes to others simply not sharing their version of how a story goes, for Aquarians possess a vision of the future that the rest of us troglodytes simply can't conceive of which is very annoying for them and leaves you having their version spelled out again and again. And it's even more annoying for those of us living in the present and in the presence of people with such a condescending nature.

It's not that they're constantly condescending, no, they can be quite humble or there wouldn't be the association with friendship given to the sign. It's the shifting between the two extremes that makes them irritating. They can have a hard time making up their minds, too, so word up to the wise, there's always going to be a hint of indecision here with a need to be prodded in one direction or another. Another annoying relationship trait of Aquarius Sun or Moon sign people can be they incessant need to day dream which can drive others of a more rational nature up the wall.

They'll make spontaneous purchases while following a day dream, neglect to do something you've asked and decide on a whim that your birthday isn't important because of some sudden qualm with birthdays in general that they didn't bother expressing to you! But it's all good, in the end, as they'll just as easily expect you to forgive them and that's that. Isn't it?

Pisces - Slippery Fish, Don't Make The Shoe Come Off

Feb. 18-21 to March 18- 21

Pisces, I feel bad to tell you where your shortcomings lie, similarly to breaking this sort of news to fellow water sign, Cancer. The difference is that you don't quite see it coming as much when you're told you're naive, unsuspecting or downright sensitive. You're not volatile like other signs, in fact, you're generally passive despite the ability to rant from time to time, you aren't especially confrontational. The biggest problem with Pisces people is exactly how unaware they are of the fear they project, especially of the unknown. Pisces ruled muddied thinking and deep, deep subconscious waters.

What can be so obvious to everyone else around you observing can be the last thing you would consider and when someone finally does break it to you that you're confidence is a little on the shaky side, it will hurt you deeply, so much that the nervous shaking may turn to shaking out of anger. Just stop wriggling around like a pair of fish with their tails tied together and grab your fishy balls. You know how good it feels because you've had times when you've done it and reaped the rewards, it's just that maintaining this front is the difficult part. You're getting it easier than some of the other signs have today, Pisces.

I'll put it to you straight, be confident, try to let the nervousness go and .... Bah, who am I kidding, is it even possible you can make yourself aware of how deeply your subconsciousness affects you? You may have the ability but doubt your own resolve and it is precisely that doubt that is your downfall. Lovely Volition - Opemtry by Iris E. - "I will, therefore I am."
Light, Liberty & Love in Dissolution through to the Extension of Evolution'

— By Iris E (Becky Johnston) Special to L.A. Beat
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